Following the recent Ebola virus epidemic in some West African countries and the discovery of a man with the virus in Lagos Nigeria, the Federal Government of Nigeria has placed a total ban on the operations of commercial transports system in Nigeria.
In an emergency announcement on HotSwen Tv, Mr President said “We have decided to ban Danfo buses, Taxi, Okada, Bicycle, Canoe, Molue, BRT, Train and even aeroplanes from operating in Nigeria. This Ebola virus is a very serious thing , how can a virus so deadly as that be transferable from one person to another by ordinary handshake or body contact? My wife, Patience, and I were watching TV just last night expecting to see the usual Boko Haram Stories but to our surprise, all we were seeing on TV was Ebola Ebola everywhere. When I asked Patience what Ebola was, she said it is a very serious disease caused by eating Eba and it can be transmitted by handshake or body contact. She said a Liberian man ate Eba on a flight and when he landed in Nigeria he had Ebola and he has transferred it to some people already. I have therefore banned all public gatherings, all forms of public transport and also it is now a criminal offence to eat Eba in Nigeria, anyone found eating Eba will be arrested and prosecuted. Also, it is now a crime to give names with Ebola in them to your children eg OyEbola, AdEbola etc and for those who already bear those names please go and get tested. Now that there are no more Danfos or okadas or BRTs, Nigerians will even be healthier because they will learn to walk more. If you live at Ikeja and you work on the island and you want to get to work by 8am on Monday morning you better leave your house and start walking to your office by 8pm on Sunday night. It is also advisable to obey all walking laws and to always go out with your walking licence to avoid falling on the wrong side of the law. “Mr President said.
Be a nice person, share this with your friends.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please Note: This is a Spoof News Site – this means that all our stories are for entertainment purposes only and should not be taken too seriously. Swen is News spelt backwards. We know the real news could be really boring sometimes so we brought you Hot Swen.Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy, diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress. Best of all, this priceless medicine is fun, free, and easy to use We promise to always keep you entertained. You might not like us if you don't like humour but we still love you. Visit www.hotswen.com daily to have a good laugh.