HOT SWEN

Friday, 8 August 2014

NIGERIANS NOW BATH WITH MAGGI AS SALT SCARCITY HITS NIGERIA

Following the circulation of some texts on social media platforms advising Nigerians to take their bath with salt water,the country’s residents have trooped out in numbers to buy every pinch of salt they can lay their hands on.

JOKES: SEXUALLY PROMISCUOUS DR SWEN

A Nigerian Tourist Dr Swen went on a business trip to China.
While in China, Dr Swen was sexually promiscuous and didn't use a condom at all.
A week after arriving back home, he woke up one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.

EBOLA: FG BANS COMMERCIAL TRANSPORT IN NIGERIA

Following the recent Ebola virus epidemic in some West African countries and the discovery of a man with the virus in Lagos Nigeria, the Federal Government of Nigeria has placed a total ban on the operations of commercial transports system in Nigeria.

WE CAN BEAT BRAZIL 30-0 – STEPHEN KESHI

Following the disgraceful 7-1 defeat of the Brazilian team by the Germans and a subsequent 3-0 defeat in the third place match against Netherlands, the Super Eagles of Nigeria have been bragging about their abilities and how they are better than the Brazilian team.

#BringBackOurGirls

HotSwen Media supports education for females all around the world. We believe in equality of gender and we preach peace. Please #BringBackOurGirls.

Drop your comments with hashtag #BringBackOurGirls to show support. Be a nice person, share this with your friends.

Thursday, 1 May 2014

Daddy Freeze Arrested for Wearing Fake Rolex Wristwatch

On Air Personality (OAP) working with Cool FM Nigeria, Daddy Freeze, was arrested earlier this morning around second roundabout, Lekki Phase1, Lagos by officials of the KAI squad.

Following the massive racist rant by Donald Sterling, owner of L.A. Clippers basketball team, the World High Court has passed a ruling ordering the 81 year old to undergo a plastic surgery or similar procedure to make himself turn black within the next seven days or be sent to a monkey reserve for the rest of his life.

WHY PSQUARE BROKE UP – EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH PETER AND PAUL OKOYE

Paul Okoye in a one on one interview at the Square Ville, Omole Lagos opened up to HotSwen Media regarding the reason why the multi-award winning brothers P-Square recently broke up. Here is what Paul had to say :

WE WILL SHOW ATLETICO MADRID PEPPER- JOSE MOURINHO

Chelsea coach Jose Mourinho, has admitted that Chelsea is a huge underdog in the upcoming champions league semi against Atletico Madrid. But he has warned Atletico that Chelsea would be a hard shit to flush,and vows to "show them pepper home and away".

OSITA IHEME AKA PAW-PAW SUES BASKET BALL TEAM FOR REJECTING HIM.

Popular Nollywood actor, Osita Iheme popularly known as PawPaw has taken serious legal actions against an American basketball team for refusing to sign him unto the team after completing a six months training with them.

The mystery surrounding today’s car bomb explosions in the capital city may have finally been solved.

According to a confidential aide who overheard a private discussion between the president and some of his ministers, irrefutable information has reached the presidency on the exact origins of the plot, and the mastermind behind the dastardly act.

JOKES: DR SWEN AND THE PREACHER'S DONKEY

A man Dr Swen bought a donkey from a preacher.

The preacher told Dr Swen; This donkey has been trained in a very unique way. The only way to make the donkey go, is to say Halleluyah, and the only way to make it stop, is to say Amen.

GIRL WITH 27K TWITTER FOLLOWERS IN LOVE WITH BOY WITH 120 FOLLOWERS, FAMILY DISAPPROVES.

A Nigerian man has been asked by his girlfriend’s father to get twenty thousand Twitter followers in a month if he wants to marry her.

Dr Swen: Do you have a boyfriend?
Girl: Nope. I don’t want to have a boyfriend.
Dr Swen: Gen. 2:18
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

PHOTO OF THE DAY: 21st Century Lady

True or false ?

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PHOTO OF THE DAY: BREASTFEEDING FATHER

What do you think of this photo?

Cool or Absurd ?

You should not miss this also: Photo Of The Day : Modern Cat

Following the war of words which ensued after Arsenal FC’s manager, Arsène Wenger, accused Chelsea’s manager, José Mourinho of being afraid of failure, Wenger has come out to publicly admit that he is a specialist in failure.

PHOTO OF THE DAY: HE NEEDS A VAL

This man needs someone to be his valentine, anyone interested ?

You should not miss this also: POLICE MAN BREAKING THE LAW

The authorities of the University of Lagos have placed a ban on the use of cars by students of the institution. This development is as a result of several petitions written by the university’s lecturers to the school authorities.

GIRL SHOCKS EVERYONE BY MARRYING HER MOBILE PHONE

In a rather surprising event today, an 18-year-old Nigerian girl married her mobile phone in Lagos. According to the new marriage laws issued by the Supreme Court, anyone above the age of 18 can marry anything except the same-sex.

In what could prove to be a major marketing and legal embarrassment for Unilever Nigeria Limited (UNL), a 26-year-old man has filed a case against the company, which owns the Close Up toothpaste brand, for ‘cheating’ and causing him ‘mental suffering’.

FG TO INSTALL CCTV MONITORING CAMERAS IN EVERY HOME BY FEBRUARY

In a new year message aired live on Hot Swen T.V, the President of Nigeria, President Jonathan, said he would be taking measures to leave no stones unturned this year.

PRESIDENT JONATHAN DEVASTATED BECAUSE HIS SON SUPPORTS APC

Information reaching Hot Swen Media has it that President Jonathan was highly devastated to find out that his son, Hope Jonathan, is a strong supporter of Nigeria’s number one opposition party, APC.

FG POSTPONES XMAS AS BOKO HARAM INJURES SANTA CLAUS

Santa Claus arrived in Abuja,Nigeria today on an invitation by Nigeria’s first lady, Mama Peace, to celebrate Christmas with the Jonathan family as well as close friends of the family but was injured a few minutes ago inside Santa’s Castle due to an explosion which the dreaded Boko Haram sect has claimed responsibility for.

1. 3% of all ex-priests head-butt people when people aren't looking

The Lagos state government has introduced a new sport in the state. This new sport is known as “Wheel Barrow Racing”, it involves several people participating in a racing competition by pushing wheel barrows very fast.

I SHOULD HAVE REMAINED WITH AMBER ROSE- KANYE WEST

American hip hop artist, Kanye West has taken to twitter to rant about how his music career has been crashing since he started dating Kim Kardashian.

Akpos is a varsity student. The Lecturer ordered him to write an apology letter showing why he didn’t submit an assignment.

Dear Lecturer,

ARSENAL IS FINISHED-RAMSEY

Midfielder Aaron Ramsey has come out to say that Arsenal is finished after their Manchester City mauling.
Ramsey feels the defeat has done a permanent damage on the team and he believes strongly that it would be nearly impossible for them to recover .

The President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, President Jonathan, welcomed a baby girl into the family last week as his wife, Dame Patience Jonathan, put to bed at the Presidential Hospital.

For a very long time a guy Akpos had been battling with a leak in his roof.

One night there was a heavy downpour and he had to move from one corner of the room to the other, to avoid drops from the roof.